Morning light had barely crept across the walls of the room before I woke up. Instead of the birds outside, the air was filled with loud grinding like gravel in a blender. My hands go to my ears desperately trying to drown it out. With how paper thin the walls seemed to be however, it was like I was stuck in an active construction site. I grumbled while pulling myself out of bed and partially detangling my hair with my hands. When I headed out of my room and down the stairs I quickly found the source of the sound.
In the kitchen was another resident of the building. A male snake-like nonferal was standing by a coffee grinder making the awful racket. He was an average height, slim, and had orange scales and black stripes that ran from the tip of his nose and down his back. Behind him was a long blue tail with a triangular shaped tip that flicked side to side. He wore a vest, dress pants, and a sly smile as he made the coffee, as if the noise was intended. He glanced up at me as his smile melted away. He turned off the machine and spoke with an endearing tone, “Oh great heavens! I did not know we already had another resident yet! I humbly apologise.”
After he gave a slight bow in my direction, I swatted at the air and walked to one of the bar seats, “Don’t worry. I was up anyway.”
When I was seated he cleared his throat and held out a hand in a black cotton glove, “Pleased to make your acquaintance. I am Dante Antonio Valentino. I was Wendell’s only resident as far as I was aware until this morning. May I ask when you snuck in last night?”
He had a surprisingly weak grip when I shook his hand for someone portraying themselves so elegantly. We both let go as he gently massaged his own hand for a moment. I must have accidentally shook it too hard, “I’m Michael. I broke in through a window around four-ish?”
He shook his head while getting out a few mugs, “It’s only nine in the morning dear. I must have woken you up then. The least I can offer you is a coffee with your breakfast. Do you prefer decaf?”
I squinted in thought for a moment, “Yeah no calves. That would taste weird.”
Dante looks concerned and a hint disgusted at the idea, “No dear, that’s not what I meant. I said decaf, as in caffeine free. It’s not baby cow water.”
“Then why does it sound like you’re grinding up bones in that thing? Are they rocks?”
He huffs and tilts his chin up into the air, “These are not merely road side pebbles. These are the finest coffee beans available in this area. A simpleton like you wouldn’t know how to appreciate them anyways.” He puts one of the mugs away, “Now if you don’t mind-” He cuts the grinder back on as the room is practically shaking from how violently the coffee beans were being crunched. I winced on it starting up again.
Dante folds his arms and leans on the counter while watching the first floor hallway. Soon enough there’s a loud bang like something had fallen out of bed before the sound of a door swinging open and bashing into the wall. Wendell comes storming out of the hallways with his eyes locked onto Dante with pure furry and rage. He marches towards the counter next to me as he points at Dante. One of his large eyebrows raised as he spoke over the grinding, “You’re doing this again on purpose aren’t you?!?”
Dante double takes at Wendell and the grinder before turning his head slightly. Pointing his ear towards Wendell as if he couldn’t hear him. Wendell marches around the counter and practically yells in his ear, “STOP WAKING ME UP!!!” I had to lean back a bit from all the noise causing physical pain at this rate.
Dante holds up a finger as if to pause the conversation. He turns off the grinder and reaches into the pocket of his dress pants. He pulls out a small hearing aid that he applies to the side of his head. Due to having no ear to attach to, it attached with a small plastic suction cup onto one of his scales. Dante then looks to Wendell again, “Sorry hun, I must have forgotten my hearing aid, could you repeat the question?”
Wendell’s voice cracks a bit as he yells, “DON’T CALL ME HUN!!!” he huffs in rage as he waits for a response.
Dante gives a confused look before seeming to realise something. He reaches up and flicks a tiny switch on his hearing aid, “Ohhh! That’s better! Sorry, forgot to turn it on. You know how it is sometimes. What were you saying?” His smile beamed from ear to ear.
Wendell glares at him. His voice is back to a normal volume, “You wake me up again with that fucking tin can simulator and I’m putting you in the grinder next and selling your blended bits as snake oil.”
Wendell then starts to storm off towards the living room. Dante’s smile drops as he tilts his head, “Strange. He usually calls me a hognose. I guess he’s holding back since you’re new here. Anyways…” he finishes preparing a small cup of coffee as I watch silently. The whole show was a bit of a surprise to see all the tension yet no one getting hurt. After Dante’s small cup is done he gestures to me again, “Feel free dear to have some if you wish. I always make more than I drink. I’m going to go cry in the corner of my room for a couple of hours and think about what I’ve done. Do have a pleasant first day here.” He gives a slight bow before calmly walking up the stairs to his room beside mine. I stayed staring in the direction of his room for a moment in confusion. Sure enough, he could be heard faintly sobbing upstairs. What kind of mess did I move into?