That night hardly anyone could sleep. Rosey had told me before that she couldn’t sleep without white noise playing. But I didn't think something so loud could ever be calming to anyone. I laid in bed facing the ceiling, listening to what sounded like a college party.
Generic dialogue was traded among party goers in the sounds such as, “This is the craziest party I've ever seen!”
Just as I thought I could tune it out, I hear one of them drunkenly yell, “Let’s go driving!” Promptly it was followed by a car chase scene with loud police sirens. Someone yelled in the back seat to slow down before they hit a deer. A while after someone was getting handcuffed while crying. The police read them their rights.
The next span of time was the ambient sounds of lunch trays in a jail and picking up trash on the freeway. I wiped my hands over my face with a quiet growl, “I swear. I don’t want to hear an entire freaking plot at midnight.”
I rolled to one side while desperately clutching my pillow to the side of my ears. But then I heard something else between all of the noise. Straight ahead of me were my drawn curtains. I lifted the pillow from my ears as I heard it again. A scratching sound on wood. It wasn’t from Rosey’s show either. It came distinctly from outside my window.
I slowly sat up while inspecting the sound as it happened again. The noise was similar to a squirrel chewing on wood but seemed much larger of a bite. Something was literally gnawing on the side of the house. The thought of teeth prying away strips of wood made my skin crawl.
Quickly my hands rushed to the curtains to pull them open. The gnashing of teeth on the side of the lodge stopped. Staring at me from deep in the woods was a cloaked figure. It was between the bushes of the tree line as if they were a part of the natural border. When I got up to sneak outside, the lodge's lack of locks and eerily silent doors kept any soul from knowing where I had gone.
Turning the corner of the lodge I saw the part of the yard my bedroom window looked out towards. The figure was no illusion and still stood patiently waiting for me. Now its empty void within the raised hood slowly turned and looked towards me. The sounds of Rosey’s white noise didn’t exist out here. With a slight hesitation, I stepped closer. Now within a few arms length away, it stepped forwards as well. Reaching past the bushes, it revealed a large pair of black feathered wings that trailed behind it. The edges of the wings held out farther than I could reach in both directions. My eyes adjusted and in the darkness of the hood I saw many more staring back, all in a ring. This wall of an 8 foot tall figure was no doubt an angel.
The angel’s speech was just as much of a presence as its form. With a low but mysterious voice it seemed otherworldly, “Hark. I the Harold of Hoaxes is now an expectant. Warnings of great falls will beseech to them that weep. Find tribulation hand and hand in resolution. Together seek the fall of the tyrant. You of meek children bring to me the feeble ways of troubled rulers. So that the sheep may not be led astray by the mouth of a lion.”
I start to crouch in the grass with my hands over my head. It stared down at me before commenting, “...You have a mind to hear my words, do you not?”
Peeking up through my hands, I start to stand upright again, “Sorry, is this not fearful enough? Or were you going for more of a screaming and running deal?”
Their wings slightly lowered, “I am Harold of Hoaxes. I gift to you warnings of dreadful fate. Do you fear me not?”
I tilt my head some, “But what kind of fear are you going for here? Like do you want me running in there screaming and crying about you or do you want me tattooing what you said in my skin with a pencil while rocking in the corner?”
They fold their wings back. Even without the extra width, they still towered over me and almost looked like a statue from a graveyard. Their other worldly tone however grew more confused, “Well…just the crying may suffice. To bring warnings of harm would be redundant if it was what my presence provokes.”
“I know movies make the blood thing seem clique but REAL blood really amps it up and gets people freaking STRESSED. It starts putting things at stake right away.”
“Perhaps the etching is of the wall and not your own likeness?”
Nodding, I start to run the scenario through my head to check all of the details, “Ok, ok. I mean not everyone is scared of property damage but you have a specific demographic here. I see the vision, I see the vision.” I tap my finger to my chin before pointing at them, “Oh and when I’m freaking out about it, do you want me to call you Harold, Hoax, or the whole thing, Harold of Hoaxes?”
Uncertainty also seeps into their tone, “Hoax is adequate I would presume?”
I look up in thought again, “Uhmm… ok that covers that. It’ll definitely get the message across. Last thing, you should break my hand.”
When holding my hand out at them, they freeze for a moment, “You seek what now?”
I gesture to my hand, “Come on! break my hand!”
Hoax’s head switches looking between my face and my hand, “I will not be partaking in such an action.”
Trying to hype them up, I start to sound more excited, “Come on! They need proof I’m not just some weirdo having sphycotic episodes making me deface private property. I go in there without a broken hand and they will start calling me a liar. They will start saying that the Harold of Hoaxes is just a Hoax!”
“I shall not!”
“You shall!” I move my hand closer to them.
Hoax starts to back away, “Deliver my warning. That is all I ask of you.”
I yell out to them, “They’re not gonna believe me!”
Hoax ignores me and leaves through the tree line. By the time they disappeared I sighed to myself, “Fine. I’ll do it myself.”